Tuesday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Guilty for disappointing Cubu and guilty for caring. He wanted sex today and I just didn't have it in me, it was a big…

Monday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Fucking awful as I consider the stress and fear I grew up under. I was barely there in my SIA meeting today, I even…

Sunday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Loose and excited by the couple's massage Cubu and I got. I liked experiencing that with him, especially since I had effectively prohibited massages…

Saturday: Today I'm grateful for feeling...Sad after a conversation with Cubu about my mental conceptions of sexual frequency. In my mind, I track exactly how many days it has been…

Friday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Revelatory possibly? I've been thinking about how violent and aggressive I feel towards my dad, how strongly I want vengeance in a physical way.…

Thursday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Desperate to invalidate my abuse. I keep searching for evidence that negates, I crave denial. I see this pattern in myself: I spend a…

Wednesday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Connected and useful after helping library volunteer Will screw supports into some shelves. We have a quiet understanding of each other that I really…

Tuesday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Revelatory today as I noticed another reason that I expect men to be predators even when they've exhibited no signs of this. In general,…

Monday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Grief and anger about my CSA/trafficking still. For money. I just can't wrap my head around it. I shared this anger, indignation, confusion, with…

Saturday: Today I'm grateful for feeling... Helpless and sad when it comes to Cubu's 10 year old niece. Regarding the niece, she's neglected in front of our eyes. She's insulted,…